I tried to get something written before we left, something to sort out all of the confusing and exciting moments I was having but all I could muster were haphazard, half-written thoughts on my Notes app. Took a bit but I was finally able to string them together.
4/26/24: It’s 2:30 am and my mind is off to the races again. This edition of Mightnight Mindgames has been brought on by remembering that we are a week away from uprooting our life and hopping on a one-way flight toward a new adventure, or so I tell myself.
It’s been one of the heavier days since we made the decision to move. We’ve spent the last two weeks packing, coordinating movers, and starting to bid our farewells to loved ones. Despite seeing the moving boxes litter my parents’ living room and the one-way ticket confirmation sitting in my inbox, I still don’t believe I am moving.
It is surreal and also a reality I am just not ready for.
It’s not the fear of it not working out, or the worry of a culture shock that I’m scared of. Logically, I know it will be some time before I feel grounded again. I accept that; I anticipate that. It’s the fear of loneliness and helplessness I know will ensue. The inevitable feeling that we made a mistake and we need to immediately undo it. I fear being unmoored and untethered from the life I currently know and love. I fear becoming a stranger to my current life.
Dramatic? Probably but it’s there and I have to acknowledge it.
Anyway, here’s to the great unknown!
Marissa Goes (Mid)West 
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